Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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