U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
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just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
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I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize