Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
