Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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