The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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