Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
