Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
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Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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