are you so shy because you have an std?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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