i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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