I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
