I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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