her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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