I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
