Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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