so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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