I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize