Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
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apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
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If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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