you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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