I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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