i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
well, you know. whores of a feather.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
