I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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