So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize