He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
birth control should be required to get into college
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
