it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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