Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
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I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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