You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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