and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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