How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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