I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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