So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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