my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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