Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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