the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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