he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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