All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
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