halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
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I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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