Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize