We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
