I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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