70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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