how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
