Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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