Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
