Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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