I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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