He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
