so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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