I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
third nipple confirmed
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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