i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
