the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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