I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
