You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize