Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
