i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize