Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
