Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
