I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
