I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize