I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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