I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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